The philosophy of Glasses.

Optimist: The glass is half full.

Pessimist: The glass is half empty.

Functionalist: The glass is at 50% capacity.

Epicurean: Refill my glass!

Theist: God made the glass half full. It was part of His plan.

Atheist: Due either to evaporation or consumption, the content of the glass has been reduced. Repeat experiment.

Stoic: It is important to remain calm when glasses loose their fill.

Socratic: Is it the ideal for the glass in its form to be half full?

Aristotelian: Why is everyone going on about this? IT’S JUST A FUCKING GLASS!

Jack Lonsdale

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