If you are reading this standard-issue field manual, then you have volunteered and/or been conscripted into trench duty on the gamergate front!
Congratulations on deciding on an illustrious career in the Reason and Logic Light Infantry – the auxiliary arm of the Moderate Defence Force! (Note: if you have been conscripted by your local message board administrator and/or forum moderator on a penance crusade, then please disregard this salutation.)
If you have mistakenly joined the Reason and Logic Light Infantry with a view to show allegiance to the Golden Mean Fallacy Dragoons, please burn this manual at your earliest convenience and report to your nearest 4chan recruiting station.
If you have joined the Reason and Logic Light Infantry with a view to offensively push an agenda that is not related to the open and diverse discussion regarding videogames, then please log your ISP with your nearest law enforcement office.
Alongside your Reason and Logic Light Infantry field manual, your recruiting officer should have issued you with the following:
x1 MKIV Deconstructionist Carbine chambered in Foucault Pattern Critical Analysis Ammunition;
x2 Kantian Categorical Imperative hand grenades;
x1 Nitetsche ‘That which does not kill us makes us stronger’ patented field medkit;
x1 QWERTY Keyboard;
x1 Socratic Method field entrenching tool; and,
x7 Epicurian F.E.A.S.T. TM ration packs that ought to supplement your nutrition for one week.
In addition to the above equipment, once you are mobilised and in the field, your platoon commander will issue you with hashtags specifically designed to meet any threat you may face.
Supplies of hashtags will vary from theatre to theatre on the frontline, and will be assigned based on purpose and duties.
However, please keep in mind that due to the recent discovery of serious fallacy issues on the munitions line back home, your regimental quartermaster will not be able to supply the following hashtags:
1) #notallmen hashtags;
2) #notyourshield hashtags; and,
3) #checkyourprivelage hashtags.
All personnel still kitted out with the above hashtags, or have come across an ammo dump of said hashtags, are to report to the nearest Q-Store to return any of the aforementioned hasthtags for destruction.
Now equipped with your standard issue philosophical equipment, you’re well on your way to fighting against the formidable onslaught of keyboard warriors. Remember trooper, this is occupied country, and the local Nerds have turned savage and are now roaming the countryside after we logic bombed their villages.
Oh, and remember to duck and cover when your duty officer orders the air raid siren to go off! There will in all probability be an ad-hominen attack inbound!