Billy Preston’s powerful words, if you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with, swim across my thoughts and I’m wondering if it matters who we love.
Love is a hefty topic and let’s face it, every one of us wants to talk about it. We even read about it, watch it play out in the movies, and we know the chorus to all the heart-break songs as we search for it and dream about it. I argue that love is the main reason for our existence, and if I’m right, its importance becomes even more profound because, basically, if we don’t love then we’ve buggered up the whole show. So we need to learn how to do it.
This should be simple, right? After all, love is the only thing we come into this world with. Consider the moment of birth; we’re naked, small and vulnerable and totally ill-equipped to do anything but cry for love and give it back in spine-melting armfuls, and yet, when the fundamental learning turns into adult independence, too many of us sit in a dark space, munching on popcorn and hoping to pick up tips from actors.
At this point it becomes clear that finding the right person, soul-mate, significant other, whatever, requires a little more effort than an obsessive escape of fantasy, and we join the legions in the hunt for love.
Then, after several tries that don’t work, sympathetically called ‘dud-love’, and the associated disappointment where the only reliable remedy for the pain is eating a truck-load of chocolate, you start to understand the complexities of this journey.
But doggedly we march on and try again. And the reason for our determination is simple. Love makes us feel good about ourselves. The more we love the better we feel and this has a knock-on effect. Suddenly, everything we think and do is based on our elevated self-worth and this radiates to people around us and they start to feel good. You can see love, feel it, touch it. We carry love around with us and it keeps us warm when the weather turns foul. Love makes us creative and vital. Love makes us laugh.
So, did Preston get it right? Does it matter who we love? I’m thinking Billy Preston pretty much nailed it.
– Jess Martin