I don’t want to sound needy, but…

Look, I don’t know to bring this up but I don’t feel valued in this relationship.

You man-handle me all the time, stroke me without permission and are constantly pushing my buttons, all in the hope of getting a reaction.

You ask me to call your friends, remember important dates and even check your emails! I mean, God, don’t you know how to access the internet?

I play your favourite songs; soothe you and do I ever get a thank you?

No!

I mean, I even come with you to the toilet!

Who needs company while they are on the throne?

Don’t even get me started about the wake up calls.

I set your alarm, tell you the important news stories of the day, and take photo’s when you want me to.

All I’m after is a bit of recognition.

Let’s not even mention the time that you smashed my face in and refused to buy me a jacket to cover up with.

That was embarrassing for both of us.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m breaking up with you.

Get yourself a new phone.

Ilana Pender-Rose

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